(From an Undisclosed Location, November 11, 2020) – For almost eight decades, a “moosechievious” society of sailboat racers called the “International Society for the Perpetuation of Cruelty to Racing Yachtsmen” (ISPCRY) has recognized both excellence in Race Committee work in Long Island Sound, as well as gaffes that will “live in infamy”. Affectionately known (or not-so-affectionately, depending on which end of the moose you’re on!) as the Moosehead Committee, the group convenes at the end of each racing year to roast the human failings of deserving race committees, as well as to toast the race officials who have gone above and beyond in the performance of their duties.
This year, due to the pandemic, Race Committees convened at their own clubs or at home to watch a pre-recorded ceremony that was streamed. That video has been posted on YouTube –https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Et_vNQBz84Q. This is the first time that the normally restricted ISPCRY footage has been leaked. Thom Hering, the Moose Supreme Leader, explains “Apparently we have a moose-mole in our midst. Someone got ahold of the video and put it up on YouTube. We are asking for a full investigation of this incident and will spare no expense to bring the perpetrators to light. In the meantime, we hope that the public enjoys this rare view of the inner Moose sanctum.”
The video also recognizes several Race Committees that went above and beyond in using their creativity and initiative to safely generate a number of new racing opportunities and formats to allow racers to get their “racing yaya’s out” during a time when the traditional events were somewhat curtailed. Owing to the limited number of traditional events, this year the Moosehead Committee dug into their archives to expose some of the most moose-worthy incidents from the past.
The Moosehead Committee is always on the lookout for moose-level shenanigans, so “if you see something, say something”. A special “whistle-blower hot line” has been established via the following email: firstname.lastname@example.org. All reports will be kept confidential.
The Moosehead Committee wishes to disclaim a rogue Facebook page – Moosehead Yacht Klub – which may be related to the aforementioned “moose-mole” intent on divulging some of the inner workings of the ISPCRY. They will confirm nor deny our approval of this social media outlet, but note that loose moose lips often lead to good Moosehead tips. https://www.facebook.com/groups/MooseheadYachtKlub/