The Boating Barrister

There are things in life I still haven’t figured out, which – for a late middle-aged guy – speeds past embarrassment into the badlands of WTF-is-wrong-with-you. I still can’t get sports conferences right and too many terms remain muddled. Why can’t Duke play Kansas in the regular season? And what the hell is a pick and roll? Maybe I’m less so encumbered when it comes to sailing, boating and the salty ennui that follows time on the…

There are things that bother me and they should bother you, too. As my tide ebbs, the list grows longer. Here are some things (including some nautical knots) that chafe. Unkindness. For those of you that read, there’s something called the Great Filter theory – why we look into the night sky and, as yet, nothing winks back. The theory goes: there’s a barrier preventing life from evolving into space-sailing civilizations. Some argue we’re past the filter…

It’s been a week. Pleasant enough under tall skies braced with rippled water and stretches of pink sand, but the sort of foreign travel burdened with too many gatherings. How much small (or big) talk can you ask of someone? And loafing is not my strong suit because, days in, and the Kalik gets thick on the tongue, the Dewar’s bitter on the lips and the scenery sore to the eyes. I like earning life’s pleasures. I…

Nothing rhymes with “orange.” I’ll leave America’s choice at that and encourage you to watch comedian John Mulaney’s stand-up, where he describes President Trump’s (you salute the rank, not the man) first term as a horse loose in a hospital. Alright, I’m sorry, I can’t leave at that . . . Boats are expensive. Dockage and moorage fees (always padded with local municipality charges), haul-outs and launches, seasonal prep – new zincs, bottom paint – not to…

Bercy Arena, Paris. Depeche Mode’s Exciter Tour. Leagues later, it’s the imagery of the backup singers banging out the rhythm that sticks. Their primal enthusiasm for the tracks was nitrous oxide redlining the ennui of a youthful age into wild energy. If you were there, you’d remember even if you were mainlining pharmaceuticals and pawing your partner. You surely would. Whether aboard the yacht or in the witness stand, backup singers bring the juice. It’s the nonparty…

  There are two things that matter in life: hope and fear. That’s what 53 years of living has taught me and I’m right as rain. You’re a time traveler of sorts in that when you read these words, you’ll know the outcome of this 2024 presidential election and yet as I type, I don’t. I’m not here to pummel political positions because the outcome is fated, but that ‘hope and fear’ bit – that’s determinative. On…

March 2021 – While John Fulweiler claims his close friend collaborated with him on various projects including content for this column, it appears Johnny Walker is the brand name of a blended Scotch Whiskey and not an actual person. We have asked John to refrain from referring to Johnny Walker, Jim Beam, Captain Morgan, Jack Daniel, Jose Cuervo and Sam Adams as his friends or writing partners. January 2022 – Reference was made by John to a…

There’s a guy in the house next to our office who financed forty slave voyages. That level of trauma is hard for me to grasp. I don’t care if your underwear was woolen and your Bloomberg terminal was a quill pen and parchment — you knew that was wrong. You don’t need modern hindsight to check your moral compass. He doesn’t live there anymore, given his 1700s business, but the rancor of his efforts lingers too close…

By Langston “South” Fulweiler Editor’s note: A favorite WindCheck feature is John K. Fulweiler, Esq.’s monthly column; invariably informative, incisive and witty. The Boating Barrister’s daughter checks in for Dad this month with a valuable seamanship lesson…and with words like “intentionality” in her lexicon (at 17!), she’s welcome to pen this page any time. “Everything has a place, and everything in its place” was a phrase I grew up resenting. With a nautical New England family, the…

Tom Whitwell is a man known for making a list of 52 things he learns each year. It’s the analog version of the stream of tidbits social media gives you. I like the idea. Here are some salty things I’ve learned vaguely relating to the maritime law and which might give you some cocktail ammunition for your next gathering: 1. In maritime law, a yacht is often classified as a pleasure vessel, and owners must comply with…